Writing Task 1. Practice

 

Model answer
The two plans show that there were a number of small but important changes to the ground floor of a museum between 1990 and 2010.

The general design remained the same, with the entrance and stairs in the same place, although the entrance was widened and certain areas were used for different purposes. 

The most noticeable alteration was the removal of the Archaeology Gallery. This was replaced with two new areas: a poster display space and a children’s interactive zone. The Natural History and Local History rooms stayed the same size and in the same location, but one wall of the latter was knocked down, making it more open. 

The museum office was unchanged but the reception counter was enlarged and moved closer to the entrance. The original gift shop was expanded to include a café. The statue which in 1990 was next to the staircase was moved to the centre of the floor. A lift was added in the space between the Gift Shop and the Natural History Room.

我會給這篇 Band 7.0 左右，合理評分區間是 6.5–7.5。IELTS Task 1 官方採用四項標準：Task Achievement、Coherence and Cohesion、Lexical Resource、Grammatical Range and Accuracy。

評分項目	估計分數	判斷
Task Achievement	7–8	有清楚的 overview，也涵蓋考古展區、兒童區、海報區、咖啡禮品店、電梯、雕像及接待櫃檯等主要變化。
Coherence & Cohesion	6–7	資訊順序合理，但看起來全部寫成一大段；若考試時沒有分段，會影響分數。
Lexical Resource	7	alteration, was replaced with, was enlarged, was knocked down 等地圖題字彙準確，但詞彙變化尚未達到 Band 8。
Grammar	7	有使用複合句、被動語態和關係子句，錯誤很少，但句型仍可以更多樣。

為什麼很可能是 7.0？

優點是 170字左右，超過最低150字要求，而且沒有加入個人意見。
Overview 也寫得很清楚：

The general design remained the same… although the entrance was widened and certain areas were used for different purposes.

主要設施的改變幾乎都有提到，內容也大致準確。

但有三個小地方限制它升到 Band 8：

1. 段落不明顯
   最好分成四段：Introduction、Overview、Body 1、Body 2。若真的全部寫成一段，Coherence and Cohesion 可能只有6分。

2. 第一句略顯空泛

   small but important changes

   實際上考古展覽館被完全移除，還新增兒童互動區、海報區、咖啡廳和電梯，改變不算很小。可以改成：

   The museum underwent several significant changes between 1990 and 2010.

3. 關係子句需要逗號
   原句：

   The statue which in 1990 was next to the staircase was moved…

   更自然、準確的版本：

   The statue, which had previously stood next to the staircase, was moved to the centre of the museum.

最終判斷

有正常分段：Band 7.0，甚至可能接近7.5。
完全沒有分段：大概仍是7.0，但也可能被壓到6.5。

對你的目標 IELTS Writing 6.0–6.5 而言，這是一篇很值得模仿的安全範文；不需要硬塞艱深單字，重點是 overview 清楚、位置準確、變化完整。

This two plans displayed the museum’s layout of the ground floor in 1990, 2010 Over all , there were 7 places and layouts different and 3 areas no changed between the ground floor of the museum 1990 and 2010. Firstly, giftshop block extended to added cafe ,on the below added a Lift; the old archaeology gallery has divided to children’s interactive zone and poster display area. The 2010 entrance more widely than 1990, the Statue also moved to the center, both local history room and Natural history room without any changed 我寫的有幾分 並指出我的問題謝謝

我會估這篇目前約 Band 4.0，寬鬆一點可能 4.5。不是因為你看不懂圖，而是字數、文法與句子完整性嚴重拉低分數。

你目前大約只有 90字，Task 1 要求至少 150字。

評分項目	估計	主要原因
Task Achievement	4	不足150字；有抓到部分變化，但漏掉接待櫃檯和辦公室等資訊，也有一處描述不完全準確
Coherence & Cohesion	4	有 introduction、overview 和細節，但句子之間常用逗號硬接，段落發展不足
Lexical Resource	4	知道 extended, divided, moved 等字，但搭配和詞性錯誤較多
Grammar	3–4	缺少動詞、被動語態錯誤、單複數和比較級問題頻繁
整體	4.0	最大問題是字數不足和文法錯誤

逐句修改

1. Introduction

你的句子：

This two plans displayed the museum’s layout of the ground floor in 1990, 2010.

問題：

• This two plans → These two plans
• 圖表題通常使用現在式 show，不是 displayed
• 1990, 2010 中間要用 and

修改：

These two plans show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and 2010.

更自然的版本：

The two plans illustrate how the ground floor of a museum changed between 1990 and 2010.

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2. Overview

你的句子：

Over all, there were 7 places and layouts different and 3 areas no changed...

問題：

• Over all → Overall
• places and layouts different 文法不成立
• no changed → remained unchanged
• Overview 不建議數「7個改變、3個不變」，很容易算錯，也不是真正的整體趨勢
• between the museum 1990 and 2010 缺少介系詞

應該概括最大的改變：

Overall, although the general layout remained similar, several new facilities were added. The archaeology gallery was replaced, while the gift shop was expanded to include a café.

這樣才是 IELTS 要的 overview。

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3. Gift shop、lift、archaeology gallery

你的句子：

Firstly, giftshop block extended to added cafe, on the below added a Lift; the old archaeology gallery has divided...

問題很多：

• giftshop → gift shop
• 缺少冠詞：The gift shop
• 要用被動語態：was extended
• to added → to include
• cafe 前面要有 a
• on the below 不自然
• has divided 時態和被動語態錯誤
• divide to → divide into
• 這裡更準確的說法是 was replaced by，因為考古展覽區消失了

修改：

Firstly, the gift shop was expanded to include a café, and a lift was installed below it. The former archaeology gallery was replaced by a children’s interactive zone and a poster display area.

was expanded to include 是地圖題非常好用的句型。

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4. Entrance、statue、history rooms

你的句子：

The 2010 entrance more widely than 1990, the Statue also moved to the center...

問題：

• 缺少動詞 was
• widely 是副詞；這裡需要形容詞比較級 wider
• 要寫 in 2010 和 in 1990
• Statue 不需要大寫
• moved 要使用被動語態：was moved
• without any changed → remained unchanged
• Natural History Room 不需要每個字都大寫，除非完全照圖例標題
• 不能一直使用逗號連接完整句子

修改：

The entrance was wider in 2010 than it had been in 1990, while the statue was moved to the centre of the museum. The natural history room remained unchanged.

但是你這裡有一個內容準確度問題：

both local history room and Natural history room without any changed

自然史展覽室確實大致沒變，但地方歷史室雖然位置和面積相同，其中一面牆被移除，因此變得更開放。

可以寫：

The natural history room remained unchanged, while part of the wall of the local history room was removed, making the area more open.

你目前最需要修正的四件事

第一，一定要寫到150字以上，建議控制在 160–180字。

第二，地圖題大量使用被動語態：

• was expanded
• was replaced
• was added
• was moved
• was removed
• remained unchanged

第三，不要用逗號連接很多完整句子。你的第三段和第四段都有明顯的 run-on sentences。

第四，Overview 不要列數字，應該說明：

• 整體格局是否改變
• 最大的改變是什麼
• 新增或移除了哪些主要設施

依照你的原文改成 Band 6–6.5 版本

The two plans illustrate how the ground floor of a museum changed between 1990 and 2010.

Overall, although the general layout of the museum remained similar, several facilities were added or used for different purposes. The most significant change was the replacement of the archaeology gallery with two new areas.

In 1990, the gift shop was located in the north-western corner of the museum. By 2010, it had been expanded to include a café. In addition, a lift was installed between this area and the natural history room. The former archaeology gallery on the eastern side was replaced by a children’s interactive zone and a poster display area.

The entrance was widened, while the reception counter was enlarged and moved closer to it. The statue, which had previously been situated near the stairs, was relocated to the centre of the museum. The museum office and natural history room remained unchanged. Although the local history room stayed in the same location, part of its wall was removed, making the room more open.

這篇約 165字，內容完整，文法安全，大約可達 Band 6.5。你原本其實已經看出主要變化，現在最重要的是把「看懂圖」轉換成完整、正確的英文句子。

These two plans illustrate how the ground floor of a museum changed between 1990 and 2010.

Overall , although the general layout of the museum remained similar. serveral facilities were added or used for different purposes. The most significant change was the replacement of the archaeology gallery with two new areas.

In 1990, the gift shop was located in the north-western corner of the museum. By 2010, it had been expanded to include a cafe. In addition, a lift was installed between this area and the Natural history room. The former archaeology gallery on the eastern side was replaced by a children's interactive zone and a poster display area.
 
The entrance was widened, while the reception counter was enlarged and moved closer to it . The stature, which had previously been situated near the stairs. was relocated to the centre of the museum. The museum office and natural history room remained unchanged. Although the local history room stayed in the same location, part of its wall was removed, making the room more open. 

從model answer 來看 加上 我錯誤修改過的 這樣 的6-6.5的新的一篇要怎麼寫

可以。這一篇我會刻意用你原本看圖的內容，再加上 model answer 裡的重要資訊，但不寫得太難，目標放在 Band 6–6.5。

Band 6–6.5 新版本

The two plans illustrate the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and 2010.

Overall, the basic arrangement of the museum remained similar, but several areas were changed and some new facilities were added. The most noticeable change was that the archaeology gallery was replaced by a children’s interactive zone and a poster display area.

In the north-west corner, the gift shop was enlarged to include a café. A lift was also added between this area and the natural history room. The stairs stayed in the same place, while the statue was moved from beside the stairs to the centre of the museum.

Near the entrance, the reception counter became larger and was moved closer to the doorway. The entrance itself was also widened. The museum office and the natural history room remained unchanged. The local history room stayed in the same position, although part of its wall was removed, making the room more open.

字數：158字

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這篇是怎麼從你的版本改出來的

你的第一句：

This two plans displayed the museum’s layout...

改成：

The two plans illustrate the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and 2010.

這一句只需要記住：

The two plans illustrate...

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你的 Overview 原本寫：

there were 7 places and layouts different and 3 areas no changed

這種數「七個改變、三個不變」很容易寫錯，也不像 IELTS 的 overview。

改成兩個整體特徵：

Overall, the basic arrangement of the museum remained similar, but several areas were changed and some new facilities were added.

再補上最重要的變化：

The most noticeable change was that the archaeology gallery was replaced by a children’s interactive zone and a poster display area.

這樣 overview 就完整了。

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你的原句：

giftshop block extended to added cafe

改成：

The gift shop was enlarged to include a café.

這裡要記一組：

was enlarged to include

意思是「被擴建，並加入……」。

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你的原句：

on the below added a Lift

改成：

A lift was also added between this area and the natural history room.

地圖題最安全的方式是直接寫：

A lift was added...

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你的原句：

the old archaeology gallery has divided to...

改成：

The archaeology gallery was replaced by a children’s interactive zone and a poster display area.

這裡不要用 divided，因為原本的考古展覽館消失了，最準確的是：

A was replaced by B.

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你的原句：

The 2010 entrance more widely than 1990

改成：

The entrance itself was also widened.

這比寫比較級更安全。

你也可以寫：

The entrance was wider in 2010 than in 1990.

但地圖題用被動語態 was widened 更自然。

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你的原句：

the Statue also moved to the center

改成：

The statue was moved from beside the stairs to the centre of the museum.

要注意：

• statue 不需要大寫
• 它不是自己移動，所以要寫 was moved
• 地圖題最好寫出 from A to B

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你可以直接記住的地圖題骨架

第一段：改寫題目

The two plans illustrate the layout of ______ in 1990 and 2010.

第二段：Overview

Overall, the basic layout remained similar, but several areas were changed and some new facilities were added.
The most noticeable change was that ______ was replaced by ______.

第三、四段：詳細比較

The ______ was enlarged to include ______.
A ______ was added between ______ and ______.
The ______ was moved from ______ to ______.
The ______ remained unchanged.
Although the ______ stayed in the same position, ______.

你這次其實不是不會看圖。你已經抓到大部分主要變化，只是原本直接用中文邏輯翻成英文。現在這一版是在保留你的觀察之下，把它換成考官容易理解、能拿到 6–6.5 的句型。